“Acceptance is to experience fully, without judgement.”
In revisiting this principle of Radical Acceptance I thought, “What the heck, Chris and Ronna! Haven’t you been encouraging me to realize how much I judge things/ people/ places/ events…pretty much everything, for years? This principle sounds like you’re not encouraging judgement at all. What’s that about?”
It turns out, I was missing a step. Radical Acceptance doesn’t encourage lovey-dovey concepts such as never judging anyone ever and living in harmony with everything all the time. Instead, it invites me to take an active role in deciding what to DO with the judgements that arise.
I’ve been experiencing a lot of self-judgement lately. I’m unemployed at the moment; even the word – unemployed – conjures up this stirring beast of venomous criticism, waiting to attack. I’ve had so many delicious judgements; you are poor, you are not contributing to society, you have nothing worthwhile to share. The trouble is, I’ve been living with these judgements of myself without really questioning them, without taking an active role in what to do with the judgements as they arise. While giving up these judgements may not be possible, by accepting my inner judge, it has less strength and influence over my self-worth and self-esteem.
Although we will never stop making judgements, perhaps we can learn to give them a bit less credence, and aspire to experience our lives and ourselves more fully.